Sometimes people say they hear God’s voice in a quiet way. A whisper, a feeling, a knowing, a little nudge. Well, That’s not what happened to me this week.
Monday morning I went to the chapel service at Denver Seminary and we had a guest speaker. She shared a story where someone who had just met her asked if Affirmative Action was “fair”. She, a black preacher, said she’d answer his question if he’d answer hers.
“No, I don’t think it’s fair.” Then she raised her eyebrows and said:
Is what Jesus did for you fair? You don’t seem to mind taking full advantage of that act.
She said, “I’m not sure what made this guy think I was a politician instead of a minister!” (Don’t worry, the politics part ends here!)
As Christians, we often think it’s our job to make life fair for all, but it’s hardly the example set for us on how we are to live.
I thought her comment was interesting and tucked it away. Then I didn’t think anything of it again.
I joined a recovery group in town and went for the first time. During sharing one woman said she didn’t think she was being treated fairly in her marriage. “Men get away with everything, but I can’t get away with anything and I hate it! It’s not fair.”
The leader of the group very graciously said in response, “What Jesus did for us wasn’t fair either… We’d hate for Jesus to be fair with us. It’s the only way I get through. I know I can give others what they don’t deserve because I have an immeasurable love which I don’t deserve.”
I still felt for the woman, it’s not easy to hear. It’s not easy to live out.
The thought going through my head was, twice in two days, huh? That’s pretty weird…
Then I realized (mom life can be so hard) it had actually been less than TWELVE HOURS! Not two days.
Hmm… I guess I’ll tuck it away.
7AM came on Tuesday and I was finally getting some time to myself…
on the toilet, of course.
It’s the place I’ve been doing my devotional and trying to find some inner peace… #momlife… I opened my devotional to find the SAME STORY!
Life’s not fair.
No, it’s not.
Neither is what Jesus did for us.
And, once again, I thought… third time this WEEK… Wait… No! This DAY?! It’s been less than 24 HOURS and I’ve heard it three times! THREE TIMES!
I almost threw the book across the bathroom. “What the heck, God?! Is this the most cliche thing happening in the Christian world or is this the LOUDEST still small voice I’ve ever heard?”
Life’s not fair.
My almost three year old picked this one up already and I have no idea how. I cringe when I hear it. “Not faaaaair, momma! Not faaaaair.”
As easy as it is to roll my eyes and say, ugh, three year olds… I realize it’s also been the cry of my heart lately.
This life is better than I deserve in so many ways, yet I still have the nerve to complain: not fair.
Student loans: not fair
Addictions and depression: not fair
My husband took a shower today (*I didn’t): not fair
People without kids will get to sleep in when Daylight Saving comes: not fair
She has a newer car: not fair
He has a better job: not fair
As much as I don’t, I whine. And as much as I whine, I wine. Kidding…but maybe not.
I want to be content, but today I’m just not.
I want life to be easy, but today it’s just not.
I look to God and say, “What the heck?! Did you forget about me? Have you forsaken me?” And I realize God’s most beloved said the same thing.
Which helps me realize: He hasn’t forgotten me. He hasn’t left me.
And I felt Jesus tugging at my heart, “It wasn’t fair, but it was worth it.”
Jesus story ends up being the greatest story ever because he trusted God in the journey.
I’m not ready for my journey to be over yet. So, I’ll keep going in the midst the not fair and be thankful I’m in good company. Not only am I in good company, but I’m also happy to benefit in the “not fair” of Jesus.
Thank you, Jesus, for your “not fair”.
Comment below what’s your “not fair” today and something you’re grateful for! I’m glad you’re in this community with me!